so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
