We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
