Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Randomize