I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
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