if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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