dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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