I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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