So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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