I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
