I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
No subtext here. People are naked.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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