The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
