The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
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You made eat vitamins until I threw up
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
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