just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
FUCK WHALES
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
