your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
