My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
