i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
organizing the empties. That sober.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
