why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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