So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize