No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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