Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
This is the prime rib incident all over again
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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