first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i think my tv is drunk
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize