what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize