I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
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He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
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Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work