So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
