that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas