I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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