Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I mean a good dj is a huge turn on

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  (586): I mean a good dj is a huge turn on http://tfl.nu/qjzn
  Replies (10) Good night (1403) Bad night (625)
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  (347): View more from New York

  A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!

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  (347): A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me! http://tfl.nu/ye87
  Replies (16) Good night (1140) Bad night (1381)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.

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  (612): On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait. http://tfl.nu/48a7
  Replies (2) Good night (697) Bad night (1877)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks

  (1-801): View more from Utah

  wait.... you do what?

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  (801): see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks (1-801): wait.... you do what? http://tfl.nu/1q1g
  Replies (18) Good night (3652) Bad night (995)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.

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  (510): im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife. http://tfl.nu/itl3
  Replies (10) Good night (3793) Bad night (1009)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love

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  (330): i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love http://tfl.nu/ix9b
  Replies (26) Good night (6517) Bad night (743)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.

  (1-815): View more from Illinois

  you need to get laid.. and an oil change.

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  (815): i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since. (1-815): you need to get laid.. and an oil change. http://tfl.nu/z8d3
  Replies (18) Good night (1843) Bad night (5101)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.

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  (662): Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing. http://tfl.nu/08ze
  Replies (10) Good night (855) Bad night (3602)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.

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  (270): He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in. http://tfl.nu/fxk7
  Replies (8) Good night (809) Bad night (3358)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.

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  (254): I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me. http://tfl.nu/dyjh
  Replies (8) Good night (3650) Bad night (1091)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.

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  (516): Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy. http://tfl.nu/8uc8
  Replies (10) Good night (1074) Bad night (555)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  How high are you?

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth

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  (607): How high are you? (413): I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth http://tfl.nu/qyq7
  Replies (5) Good night (1380) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits

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  (425): I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits http://tfl.nu/tp61
  Replies (5) Good night (577) Bad night (434)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.

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  (815): also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up. http://tfl.nu/48dn
  Replies (1) Good night (697) Bad night (316)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"

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  (909): Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead" http://tfl.nu/8n1v
  Replies (0) Good night (592) Bad night (485)

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