dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Randomize
