no, he came in my armpit
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Randomize
