i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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