Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?

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  (908): i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking? http://tfl.nu/grwd
  Replies (2) Good night (1059) Bad night (536)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention

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  (432): From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention http://tfl.nu/4fnt
  Replies (26) Good night (6194) Bad night (694)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.

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  (843): When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done. http://tfl.nu/np50
  Replies (11) Good night (5340) Bad night (841)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.

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  (225): Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING. http://tfl.nu/893j
  Replies (9) Good night (5696) Bad night (736)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.

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  (816): He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork. http://tfl.nu/6zkt
  Replies (37) Good night (15699) Bad night (1111)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.

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  (732): Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home. http://tfl.nu/palx
  Replies (2) Good night (2925) Bad night (778)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom

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  (207): you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom http://tfl.nu/am8n
  Replies (11) Good night (5435) Bad night (826)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.

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  (570): Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger. http://tfl.nu/xwib
  Replies (33) Good night (1622) Bad night (3596)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?

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  (715): hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes? http://tfl.nu/o98x
  Replies (10) Good night (5638) Bad night (728)
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  (949): View more from California

  Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer

  (1-949): View more from California

  Party on wayne

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  (949): Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer (1-949): Party on wayne http://tfl.nu/qjse
  Replies (9) Good night (2777) Bad night (728)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.

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  (610): I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work. http://tfl.nu/9c2o
  Replies (1) Good night (311) Bad night (604)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED

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  (205): I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED http://tfl.nu/p5zl
  Replies (5) Good night (280) Bad night (554)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.

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  (253): It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced. http://tfl.nu/oqhp
  Replies (1) Good night (224) Bad night (412)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  The band last night was really good

  (1-252): View more from North Carolina

  That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.

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  (252): The band last night was really good (1-252): That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were. http://tfl.nu/08ms
  Replies (2) Good night (921) Bad night (222)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?

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  (405): So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any? http://tfl.nu/zra6
  Replies (4) Good night (293) Bad night (427)

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