Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(319): View more from Iowa

yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(319): yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face. http://tfl.nu/jfup

Replies (17) Good night (677) Bad night (2470)
Favorite
(484): View more from Pennsylvania

i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(484): i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman. http://tfl.nu/dzx3

Replies (55) Good night (7317) Bad night (1009)
Favorite
(617): View more from Massachusetts

So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(617): So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus? http://tfl.nu/bsxq

Replies (19) Good night (1229) Bad night (5688)
Favorite
(818): View more from California

Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(818): Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you. http://tfl.nu/btkl

Replies (11) Good night (6919) Bad night (1303)
Favorite
(203): View more from Connecticut

so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(203): so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe http://tfl.nu/fk19

Replies (10) Good night (1087) Bad night (4301)
Favorite
(530): View more from California

I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(530): I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me. http://tfl.nu/jc9x

Replies (29) Good night (4411) Bad night (1241)
Favorite
(716): View more from New York

For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(716): For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st. http://tfl.nu/kimy

Replies (6) Good night (2097) Bad night (760)
Favorite
(936): View more from Texas

uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(936): uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again. http://tfl.nu/cxza

Replies (8) Good night (893) Bad night (1887)
Favorite
(802): View more from Vermont

So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(802): So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going? http://tfl.nu/1d2j

Replies (8) Good night (1985) Bad night (995)
Favorite
(601): View more from Mississippi

Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(601): Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce. http://tfl.nu/tk1l

Replies (6) Good night (623) Bad night (2517)
Favorite
(734): View more from Michigan

He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(734): He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point. http://tfl.nu/zkwk

Replies (4) Good night (1444) Bad night (694)
Favorite
(541): View more from Oregon

Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(541): Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20 http://tfl.nu/r4sg

Replies (4) Good night (1225) Bad night (473)
Favorite
(303): View more from Colorado

No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(303): No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities. http://tfl.nu/n27f

Replies (1) Good night (711) Bad night (348)
Favorite
(313): View more from Michigan

Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here

(702): View more from Nevada

Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(313): Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here (702): Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze. http://tfl.nu/43v0

Replies (1) Good night (751) Bad night (462)
Favorite
(401): View more from Rhode Island

Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(401): Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired. http://tfl.nu/40ai

Replies (2) Good night (570) Bad night (348)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: