anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I love having hate sex.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?