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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN

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• (206): View more from Washington

  imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.

  (206): View more from Washington

  Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (620): View more from Kansas

  In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.

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• (281): View more from Texas

  Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.

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• (940): View more from Texas

  I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.

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• (912): View more from Georgia

  Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???

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• (760): View more from California

  he just fucked me for my cheese.

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