I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
No subtext here. People are naked.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
