Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
