Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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