You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize