Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
