As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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