Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
this hospital has no fireball
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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