if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Send help, water and tortillas.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
