return my video game
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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