Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
