Nicole vs. Life
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
