she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Are we still banned from the library?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I need water and some morals
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