One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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