I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
