Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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