why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
