I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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