My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
he fucked my hip out of place.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
