Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I lost the right to judge tonight
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
