You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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