did you get engaged???
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
