i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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