Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
