I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He has the fingertips of a God
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
