Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
