Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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