sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
You were trust falling into bushes
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
