Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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