She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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