Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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