I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I am midnight drunk by noon
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
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Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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