Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize