Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
then he tried to convert me to islam
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize