Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
