oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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