names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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