just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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