will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
