nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
