Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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