Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
