I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
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