someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
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