yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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