i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
As shirtless as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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