Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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