I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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