I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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