i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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